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Feedback really is a gift - even if about negative impacts 

​You might see the purpose of feedback as either to improve confidence or improve competence - and see the first as 'positive' and the second as 'negative'. But it's probably more helpful to say that the real purpose, in both cases, is to make people aware of something they may not currently be aware of - and that is always a positive (good) thing for them.

The Centre for Creative Leadership (CCL) advocates the SBI model, which I love, but I add another letter - so my version is ISBI. 

I  = Intention: You are telling them something they may not be aware of. Not being 'nice', or 'nasty'. 

S = Situation: Refer to a specific example which is easy to recall, even if giving feedback on a habit.  

B = Behaviour: What did they do (or not do) that created the impact (positive or negative).  

I  = Impact: The impact could be on you (I was happy or irritated), or others (they got engaged or they got bored), or the business (we saved a lot of time / money or we lost a lot of time / money).  

One helpful hint. Keep the finger pointing at the impact - NOT at the person. If you point a finger at someone, it will always be seen as a 'threat', and trigger instinctive defensive actions. And these will include switching off the PFC - the only part of the brain capable of self-reflection & change! 

"Oh what a gift... to see ourselves as others see us"Robert Burns 
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